Life Planners™ Newsletter
August 2006
by Mike and Linda Moran
Monthly advice on how to write your child's Letter of Intent,
also known as a Life Plan
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Life Plan Tip |
This Month's Question
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Letter of Intent
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I have no time to write a Life Plan!
Is that what you're telling yourself? Is that the reason you haven't started your child's Life Plan? How can it be that you find time for so many other things? Read on to find out what we often really mean when we complain about lack of time. And find out what you can do about it.
If you're logical about it, you realize that you do have time. You have 24 hours every day. And you decide how you spend that time.
So what does it really mean when you say you don't have any time? It means that you're not convinced that creating a Life Plan is important enough to squeeze out something else. Plain and simple, that's what it means. And maybe you're right. Only you can think this through and decide for yourself.
We are all stressed for time. No one caring for a disabled child is eating bon bons on the couch. Of course you are busy. But you always make time for things that are important. Your child is always cared for. Cared for when sick. Fed properly. Dressed for school. Her needs are taken care of every day because you would not have it any other way.
So why can't you start your Life Plan? Because, down deep, you don't think you need it. At least not now. Maybe someday, but not today. And you can see so many things that you must do today. You're busy putting out fires.
The problem with that way of thinking is that you really don't know when you'll need it. And by the time you know, it's too late to produce one. So, ask yourself a question: If you knew that you'd need your Life Plan in three months (say you knew you were going into the hospital), would you make sure you got it done?
Of course you would. You'd turn your life upside down to get it done. The same way you've done a dozen times when your child needed it.
You can rise to any crisis, but you don't treat your lack of a Life Plan as a crisis. In fact, it is. Would you drive your car without car insurance? Even though you are a good driver? Do you change the batteries in your smoke alarm? Even though you've never had a fire? Then why don't you need a Life Plan?
A Life Plan is a crisis waiting to happen. Your child needs a plan and you are the only one that can produce it.
If you are convinced this is important, you can make the time. What's more, a Life Plan can be written in small, manageable chunks.
This month's Life Plan tip:
Share your plan
If you are one of the only 30% of parents that have actually prepared a Life Plan for their disabled child, congratulations! But you have more to do. It's not enough to create a plan. Your child's prospective caregivers must know you have one. They need to know where it is. They need to understand what is in it.
Share your plan with your child's future caregivers. Sit down with them. Explain what they will have to do. Tell them where they'll get help. Answer their questions. Your meeting may be a bit uncomfortable, but if you can't bring yourself to discuss your plan with caregivers, maybe they are the wrong caregivers.
If it turns out they are needed, they'll have a lot tougher things to do than have a conversation, so you need to be sure they are committed to your child's care now.
This month's question:
How do I find a skilled lawyer?
Get advice on your advisors.
You probably already know that your family attorney that did your house closing is not up to wills and estate plans where a disabled child is involved. How your will is worded, whether you have a special needs trust, and other issues matter a great deal to your child after you are gone. You need a specialist in disability law, and they are not easy to find.
But there are ways to find the lawyer you need. The best place to start is with organizations devoted to disabled people. The Arc (formerly known as the Association for Retarded Citizens), for example, is a great place to start. Your local Arc and other groups are usually familiar with a few lawyers in your state that specialize in disability law. Sometimes these lawyers even give free seminars on planning for the future, so you can size them up before making an appointment.
While you don't need a lawyer to write a Life Plan, you do need to start thinking about a lawyer to help you with estate planning
for your disabled child.
A thought to ponder:
"Time hasn't stopped for any troubles, heartaches, or any other malfunctions of this world, so please don't tell me it will stop for you."—
C.S. Lewis
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