Activating Event: You've said "I can't eat that" too many times, and finally, this time, your mind or body rebel without your permission. You binge on the forbidden foods. The binge can go on for hours, days, weeks, or even years. You're frustrated, upset, angry with yourself, disappointed, irritable, depressed, and you want to hide. You feel defeated, not just with food, but seemingly with everything else in your life as well. This is no fun. You want to chase all these yucky feelings away.

Belief that triggered the activating event: You believed that if you just stay away from certain "trigger" foods, or certain foods groups such as fats or carbs, then you would lose weight and not binge.

Consequence of the belief: You forced yourself to avoid certain foods that you enjoy. In the beginning, you succeeded with willpower and determination, fueled by the further belief that this is good for you. But after time, your mind or body rebelled against this harsh treatment and deprivation, and caused you to not only eat the forbidden food against your will, but to binge on it in huge quantities.

Dispute the belief: Now it's time to dispute your beliefs. Your aim is to ask yourself whether you know of enough evidence to show you that what you believed was really true. If you find too little evidence, you'll want to consider changing your belief to something you know to be true.

Here's how you do it: Ask yourself questions like,

• What evidence is there that my problems are caused by certain foods rather than my beliefs?
• What evidence do I have that food has such power over me?
• What evidence have I seen that if I stay away from certain foods, I'll lose weight and be satisfied forever?
• What evidence do I have that avoiding certain foods is good for me?
• Have I believed things told to me by other people, without reasoning it through enough for myself?
• What evidence do I have that a lifetime mantra of "I can't eat that" will do me any good?

Effective new thinking: Now it's time to replace the distorted or faulty beliefs with more rational beliefs and self-talk. You might discover beliefs such as these, but remember, they are only examples. You have your own food wisdom. It exists inside you. Start pulling your book of food wisdom out of yourself. Notice, too, that these are logical constructs that don't go overboard into faith. They use words such as "it's possible."

• It's possible that my food problems are not caused by food.
• It's possible that weight loss isn't about the food at all.
• I may have been believing that food has power over me, when in fact, I've had the power all along.
• I may need to find a power other than willpower.
• It may be that forcing myself on food plans may be part of the problem, not part of the solution.
• It may be that what others have been telling me could be wrong. I'd like to forgive them in my heart because they didn't mean it. But I'll do this later.
• I've noticed that I always gain the weight back when I go on a deprivation diet, so maybe that's not the answer.
• I've believed that deprivation was good for me. I know now that it isn't true. I'd like to start believing that all foods are good for me, in smaller quantities. I'd like to start believing that my body can figure out when it's hungry and when it's satisfied.
• I'd like to have a new mantra. Maybe it can be, "I can eat that." I'll ponder this a while.

Feeling: After a while of incorporating your new beliefs into your thinking, your feelings will change pretty much on their own. Your frustration will go away, and all the anger, depression, disappointment, and irritability will dissipate. You will feel empowered. But don't take my word for it. If you journal all these steps (which means writing them down), including this step, you will see over time how you feel. Write down your own words for how you feel, not mine. Perhaps elated? Excited? Cautious but optimistic?